


Only a Nightmare

by quinnovative



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Big Sister Alex Danvers, Big Sister Maggie Sawyer, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, sort of a character study eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-17 23:43:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11862114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinnovative/pseuds/quinnovative
Summary: Based on this prompt: A Fort Rozz escapee messes with Kara's mind and emotions.





	1. Chapter 1

“Supergirl!” Alex’s footsteps thundered against the pavement, knees driving forward, legs pumping back. She pushed off her toe and yanked herself upward, swinging her feet over a fence and landing before trying again, “ _Supergirl!”_

Sirens rang through the streets and lingering civilians gawked. Alex knocked shoulders, shuffling with focused feet as she shoved herself forward, broke through the crowd and into the road, sliding between police barricades.

“Supergirl!” Her voice quivered against the chaos, penetrated the billow of black smoke clouding the air; its source an alien, presumably dead now, judging from the thick smoke and alien sludge splattered across the street. But still, Kara was nowhere to be seen.

_Kara, Kara, Kara._

“Supergirl!”

Screaming, silence, shaking Earth.

And then, something.

Then, Maggie.

“I’ve got her.”

A voice from the dark smoke, figures emerging from vapor that thinned and wisped. “I’ve got her,” Maggie called out again, took form in front of Alex’s eyes and the woman rushed forward.

Maggie dipped her head toward Kara, whispered more softly. “I’ve got you.”

The blonde tipped on her feet, head reeling and vision blurring around the edges. Echoes of the alien’s voice pounded in her skull, sunk in her gut.

“Kara,” Alex whispered low enough so only they can hear, let out a stream of breath and took Kara into her arms from Maggie’s strong hold. “Hey, you okay?”

Kara nodded and pulled back, dazed and looking down and pushing gunk off her super suit. “Yeah, no, I’m fine—I’m fine, just a little sore and… no I’m fine, I’m fine.” She shifted hesitantly, testing weight on her aching muscles. “And covered in its disgusting goo.” She shook her hand, sent the black sludge splashing on the ground, its remnants clinging to her bare skin. “Yuck.” She shuddered, pulling laughs from Maggie and Alex.

“It even got in my mouth!” Kara groaned, blinked again as the world came into focus. “A lot! I can still taste it—and it was in my nose!”

“You’re a mess,” Alex said and a grin—part relief, part amusement—lit up her cheeks. “Let’s get you cleaned up at the DEO and then movie time?”

Kara nodded and smiled, falling in step with Maggie and Alex. “Sorry I got goo on you, Maggie,” Kara said.

“It’s fine, Little Danvers, it only got on my clothes. You on the other hand, are saturated.”

The blonde groaned, a little pout appearing across her lips as they turned into an alley, making their way to a DEO van. Kara looked down at the goo dripping from her suit, her hands. “It’s _gross.”_

“ _You’re_ a little gross right now, Kara,” Maggie teased.

Kara made a face, dramatically grasping her chest with her hand. “Well I know I’m not snuggling with you tonight.”

“Oh however will I survive?”

Alex snorted and Kara’s frown fell farther, causing both older women to laugh.

“Come here,” Alex said, grinning and opening her arm up to Kara. The blonde smiled and leaned into Alex’s one armed hug. “Just… keep your alien goo on the clothes, all right? I don’t want any of that on my skin… gross”

 “ _Alex.”_

/

“What was even up with that alien guy?” Alex asked as they piled into Maggie’s car a few hours later, pulling out of the DEO parking garage.

Kara shrugged and leaned her head against the window in the backseat. “I don’t know. I think he was a Fort Rozz escapee, kept talking about my mom and Krypton.” She scrunched her face up, rubbed at a piercing throb in her forehead.

It was quiet for a moment and Kara shifted, pulling a knee up to her chest and resting her chin there. “So they didn’t find the alien?”

Alex shook her head, tried to catch Kara’s eye in the rearview mirror, but the blonde kept looking outward, gaze trained onto some distance beyond the car, beyond this planet, this atmosphere. “No, they haven’t been able to determine yet if he was killed on the scene or managed to get away. But if he’s still out there we’ll get him. It’s just a matter of time.”

Kara nodded and silence fell over the car again.

“So, Little Danvers, are you picking out the movie tonight?”

The only response was the static hum of the radio.

“Little Danvers?”

Nothing.

“Kara?”

“Hmm?” The blonde’s head snapped in Maggie’s direction and she reached to push back hair where it had fallen in her face.

“The movie, for night,” Maggie said again, voice softening. “You got one picked out?”

Kara shrugged and shook her head. “No, not really. I’m kind of tired.”

She missed the concerned glance Alex shot her through the rearview mirror, heard Maggie hum sympathetically.

But Kara could only lean back in her seat, listen inside her head as the alien’s voice said words to her in native tongue, that only Alura had ever said, whispered at night to Kara when she was little and tucked in bed.

/

Kara pushed around her food while they ate dinner, cheek mushed in the palm of her hand as she rested it there, eyes half lidded and breath slow.

“All right, come on,” Alex said, nudged Kara gently and rubbed her shoulder.

“Hmm?”

“You’re falling asleep at the table, Kar. How about we put something on tv and you can get some rest?”

Kara gave a nod and stood, thanking Maggie as the detective cleaned up the table before joining them on the couch just as the sun began dipping below the horizon.

Kara sprawled across the cushions, curling into Alex’s side and groaning. “My stomach hurts.”

Alex threaded fingers through Kara’s hair. “Sorry, sis.”

Kara murmured incoherently, snuggling closer as Maggie plopped onto the couch at her other side and rubbed Kara’s leg.

A smirk tugged across Alex’s lips. “And I’m especially sorry you literally ate alien shit earlier today.”

Without opening her eyes, Kara grabbed the nearest pillow and swung it at Alex, landing a hit against her side. “Just for that, I might lean against Maggie instead. She’s warmer than you are, anyway.”

Maggie grinned smugly, threw a look over to Alex. “What do you have to say to that, babe?”

“I say that Kara’s too tired to move so she’s stuck with me.”

“ ‘m not even that tir’d,” the blonde mumbled into Alex’s shirt, nose pressing into her sister’s side as she wiggled closer.

“Sure.” Alex deadpanned, Maggie shooting her a look that made laughter bubble forward.

“ _Alex, stop,”_ Kara whined. “You’re moving too much and it’s not funny anymore.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Alex said and ran a hand up and down Kara’s back. “Just try to sleep for a while, you’ll feel better when you wake up.”

Except, when Kara nodded and closed her eyes again, relinquished her grasps on wakefulness, Kara saw Krypton.

She saw Krypton in her dreams, and for the first time in thirteen years, she could read the street signs, could whisper names to address the faces she saw, could make out the words to the lullaby her mother was singing and understand the text in her father’s hand, follow along as he flipped the page.

But then, blood ran from the walls of her childhood home. The red sun of her planet turned thick with the crimson liquid, spilled it forward and the streets flooded and the rain kept coming and her parents drowned and her lungs filled and she shot upward screaming, eyes opening to pitch black and gargled sounds, shuffling and shifting and distant voice in a language she knew best but was not raised on.

And then the room is drenched in soft yellow light and Maggie is already turning away from the switch, coming closer and Alex is already there, hovering over Kara’s head, fingers dipping into Kara’s sweat soaked locks of blonde, shushing, soothing.

Kara’s still screaming, still blinking as the shapes take form and the blurs sharpen away and the moonlight sinks in and her lungs scorch and her heart beats and reality takes hold.

“It’s over, okay? It was only a nightmare, it’s over.” Alex got on her knees, cupped her sisters tearstained cheeks.

Kara dropped to the floor, keeled over and her head fell into Alex’s lap and Kara sobbed.

It was only a nightmare.

Alex’s fingers brushed through her hair.

It was only a nightmare.

Alex rubbed circles on her back.

It was only a nightmare.

Maggie pulled them both into a hug.

It was only a nightmare.

Kara let out a shuddering breath.

It was only a nightmare,

But it was just the beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

“You’re okay, it’s all right.”

Alex’s voice was a sturdy pulse against the vibrating air, a settling thump against the screaming of the city’s stimuli in Kara’s ears.

Kara tucked her head down, weeping, drenching Alex’s pajama pants, twisting an arm around Alex’s middle, because Kara couldn’t talk, couldn’t talk, couldn’t talk but she could feel—could feel Alex’s hand rubbing slowly, steadily up and down her spine, thumb massaging her shoulder blade; could feel Maggie standing close; could feel heartbeats and crushing weight of worlds.

And Alex waited. Waited for Kara to raise her head, shift, before Alex encircled strong arms around Kara, guided her so she was sitting upright, hugged tightly against Alex.

“I don’t want to go back to sleep,” Kara murmured, quivering through a high pitched whisper. “I can’t, Alex. I can’t.”

Alex stroked her hair. “Hey, hey, that’s okay, it’s fine. We’ll stay up… we can watch movies until sunrise.”

Kara nodded, sniffling and wiping her tears.

“Come on, let’s get back on the couch, okay?”

With the slightest tilt of Kara’s chin, Alex eased them upward and back onto the couch with Kara still clinging at her side, curling over with a whimper so her nose brushed Alex’s collarbone as tears threatened to spill over again.

“Oh hey, shh, you’re okay,” Alex whispered, stroked a hand over Kara’s hair and pressed a kiss to her temple. “You’re okay.”

“I know, I know… I just—“ She blew out a stuttering breath of warm air, rubbed at the wet skin of her cheeks.

“What?” Alex prompted gently.

Kara’s face crumpled. “Krypton,” she managed before a cough took away her lungs, sent her diaphragm heaving.

Maggie offered a glass of water for Kara to Alex, the brunette took it, tilted it toward her sister, steadied it in shaking hands. Kara took slow sips, fingers clinging as glossy eyes stared blankly.

Maggie disappeared and returned a moment later, wrapping a blanket around Kara from behind. “What’d you do that for?” Kara asked as she curled her fingers around the soft fabric, nestling it against her cheek.

Maggie grinned back. “If we’re going to stay up watching movies the rest of the night, we need to get you comfortable, don’t we? You were shivering.”

Kara smiled, a soft ‘thank you’ coming from her lips as she and Alex shifted over, made room for Maggie on Alex’s other side.

“So,” Alex began as she took the remote and opened Netflix. “No falling asleep, what movie’s up first?”

Except Kara did fall asleep.

Except Kara fell asleep and woke up screaming just an hour later, drenched in sweat and shaking.

Except it happened again the next day and the one after that and then it became habit—waking up alone, chest heaving in the darkness, Krypton in pieces in her head.

It happened until she stopped sleeping at night, took to the skies instead. Until she fell asleep at CatCo, at the DEO—woke up with tears burning in her eyes on the seventh day, etching rivers across her cheeks as the door to the lab swung open and Alex burst in.

“Listen, I’ll be right back. There’s a—whoa, hey, hey, what’s the matter?”

And Alex was by her side in an instant, stroking her hair, rubbing her back, holding her together.

“Nothing,” she murmured thickly, wiping her eyes. “Just a bad dream.”

“Still? You said they stopped after that first night.”

Kara shrugged, eyes watery and lip quivering.

Alex pulled Kara in for a tight hug. “Okay, we’re definitely talking when I get back.”

“Wait, where are you going?” Kara straightened, followed Alex’s movements as she headed toward the door.

Alex sighed, hesitance flashing across her face before her shoulders dropped and she turned around to face her sister. “You remember the alien from last week, with the nasty goo and big explosion?”

Kara’s entire frame tensed, its words cycling through her head—the clarity with which it had spoken about Krypton, about her home and her parents. She sat frozen for a moment, swallowing before blinking and nodding.

“He’s back, wreaking havoc on some civilians.”

“I’ll come,” Kara said, standing from the chair, swaying on tired legs.

“Kara, no. J’onn wants you to sit this one out, you had a close call last time.”

Kara shook her head and took another step forward. “It’ll give me some closure and then maybe these dreams will stop.”

“Closure?”

“I’ll explain later, please Alex, can we just go and get this over with?”

Alex glanced down at her watch. “I don’t have time to argue so we leave now. If the alien starts getting the upper hand, you get away, all right? Let the DEO take over completely.”

Kara nodded, followed Alex’s quick footsteps down the hall and out of the base.

/

Twenty minutes later and Kara was in the clouds, trembling as the alien floated across from her, gazes locked. There was a boom and crack and Kara plummeted, dropped from the sky into the pavement and the DEO snapped into action.

Kara rose shakily, testing her strength with a few steps as a flurry of agents rushed forward, weapons aimed before the alien could insinuate more damage. It speed toward a hospital when the kill shot was released and the spray of bullet pierced its scaly skin. A puff of black smoke expanded outward and fell, particles sinking heavily as the body crashed down, cratered beside Kara.

The blonde’s knees buckled, a yelp tearing from between her lips, as she bent forward, palms pressing against her hairline.

Alex spun on her heels, holstered her weapon and sprinted to close the distance.

“Supergirl?!” she called out, drooped down beside her sister. “What’s wrong?”

Kara shook her head quickly, whimpering again and freezing, digging the heels of her palms harder against her skin.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay. What hurts? What’s wrong?”

“Head,” Kara choked out, leaning forward and into her knees.

“We’re going back to the DEO,” Alex determined, wrapped her arms around Kara and eased her up. “Dizzy?”

Kara nodded, eyes squeezed shut as she inched through a step, leaning against Alex.

“All right, you’ve got it, we’re almost there.”

It was when they reached the DEO medical van that a boom sounded, reverberated through the city. Comms sounded in Alex’s ear: another attack, unrelated but definitely extraterrestrial, four blocks over.

“Go,” Kara said, opening her eyes and blinking in the brightness. “I’ll be fine, you need to go.”

Alex’s lips formed a thin line as she pressed them together. “But Kar—“

“Agent Danvers, you ready? We’re heading over now. It’s getting messy fast,” called a passing agent.

Kara tilted her head toward the direction the squads were already following. “Go, go. I feel a little better already.”

Alex sighed, a deep and heavy breath that sunk in her lungs. “Take care of yourself, okay? I’ll try to stop by later.”

Kara nodded. “Stay safe, Alex.”

“Do my best. I love you, Kar.”

“Love you, too.”

/

Lena’s phone vibrated on her desk, shaking a stack of papers and she lurched forward, picking up the device and swiping to accept the call before it woke the sleeping blonde on the couch just a few feet away.

It was nearly midnight, Lena noted, as she saw Alex’s name grow across her screen.

“Lena, listen have you seen Kara?” the agent asked before Lena could even ask what was wrong. “Stuff happened at work today and I was supposed to check up on her but I got held up and now she isn’t answering her phone and it’s been hours and I’ve been to the DEO and her apartment and CatCo and she isn’t there and no one has seen her, so I—“

“She’s with me, Alex.”

“With you?”

“Yes, with me.”

“Is she okay?”

Lena put down the pen in her hand, settled back in her chair and let her eyes drift toward Kara. “She’s fine, just exhausted. She fell asleep on the couch in my office, waiting for me to finish up some work before we grabbed dinner. I know she hasn’t been sleeping well and it just seemed wrong to wake her when her body so clearly needs rest.”

“Okay,” Alex’s voice was slower now. There was a pause and a breath and when Lena closed her eyes she could make out Maggie in the background, could hear Alex’s whisper of ‘she’s okay, she’s with Lena.’ “Okay, should I come get her? You really shouldn’t be at work this late yourself, Luthor.”

Lena gave a shrug as she spoke and Alex could nearly see it in her head. “I’m all right, just wrapping up a few things, and Kara… she looks all right, too. I have some takeout for when she wakes up, if she doesn’t do it on her own within half an hour, I’ll get her up, take her back to her apartment.”

Lena waited as Alex pondered the situation. “Did she say anything about her head? Or seem like it was bothering her at all?”

“She appeared a little dazed, as though it may have been hurting a bit, but she didn’t mention it and it didn’t seem major.”

Another slow exhale and then Alex gave a decisive nod. “Okay, just let me know if you or she needs anything.”

“Of course. Have a good night, Alex.”

“You too, Lena. Thanks for taking care of her.”

“Anytime.” There was a silence that hung in the air and when Lena spoke again Alex knew she was looking at Kara. “It’s what friends are for, right?”

/

That morning Kara woke in her apartment, blinking in the darkness and trying to piece together the memories of how she’d gotten there.

Her breath speed up, her gentle heartbeat began thundering.

A hand moved on its own accord, collided with a warm figure on her right. She bolted off the couch, shaking in the living room with a breath in her throat. _Krypton, Krypton, Krypton._

_In clarity._

_Burning, burning, burning._

She bit her lip and choked on a sob.

_Blood and fire and screaming._

_Her mother’s last words, her father’s last hug._

_Her teacher’s name in school, the street where she grew up._

_Her favorite books in native tongue, the art supplies composed of elements that didn’t exist on this planet._

_Her neighbors, her best friends, her cousins._

_Burning, burning, burning._

_In clarity._

_Krypton, krypton, krypton._

“Kara, it’s me. It’s Lena.”

_Earth, Earth, Earth._

She let out a breath.

_Lena, Lena, Lena._

Shoved at the tears brimming her eyes, left red bruises tainting her cheeks.

“Lena.”

A breathy exhale. A familiar name.

“I’m right here with you, Kara. We’re in your apartment, we came her last night and fell asleep watching movies.”

“Oh.” Kara pressed a palm, flat and spread, against her forehead and upward, pushing dampened blonde hair out of the way, mussed and wild. “Oh okay,” she breathed out and nodded. “Okay yeah.”

“Are you all right? Did you have a bad dream?”

Kara shook her head, brows crinkled. “No, I was fine when I woke up it was after, it was…”

Eyes blinked back at her in the darkness, deep blue that she’d grown up with. Her father. Her father’s eyes were blinking back at her from across the room.

Her chest tightened.

 “Kara?”

Her voice was too loud.

Kara stood.

“Kara?”

Took a step forward.

A shadow tore through the sliver of dim light seeping underneath the door from the hall.

“Lena, who else is here?”

“What?”

Her voice was strung tight and high, quivering with the weight of tears. Her hands shook at her side, against the waist of her pajama bottoms. “Who else is in this apartment, right now?”

Lena stood this time, her frame blocked out the eyes and she shook her head, held Kara’s gaze but the blonde looked past her.

“No one else is here, Kara.”

Kara’s voice shook, low and cautious. “Turn on the lights. Lena, can you please turn on the lights?!”

Lena stood frozen for a moment.

The eyes stared from across the room.

“Now! Lena, please, please can you get them now.”

Lena bolted, around the couch and ten, twenty steps over, hit the light switch, drenching the room in soft yellow that filled the crevices and ran out the darkness.

“See?” she said gently, turning back around. “Nothing here.”

Kara was on her knees, head in her hands, earnest sobs begging to break free. “It was nightmare,” she murmured. “It had to be a nightmare.”

“Kara.” Lena was at her side in an instant, a gentle hand on her back. “What’s going on?”

Kara shook for a moment, silent before raising her head marginally, feature expressed in blotchy cheeks and watery eyes.

“Don’t tell Alex about this, please.”

Lena stayed silent, encouraged Kara to keep talking and the blonde leaned back until her spine pressed against the bottom of the couch. “She thinks something’s wrong with me, but it’s not. I’m just thinking about Krypton a lot and I don’t—I don’t want to worry her. It’s nothing, just a few dreams, that’s all.”

“This seemed like more than just a dream, Kara.”

“Please, Lena, I’ll do anything just don’t tell anyone; especially not Alex, please.”

Lena took Kara’s hand in both of her own. “Promise me you’ll tell her yourself when you can, when you’re ready.”

“Okay.” Kara nodded and tears dripped of her cheeks, splattered on the floor. “I will, I just need time.”

“I can give you that,” Lena said, brushing tears off the blonde’s cheek with gentle, warm fingers; and when Kara looked up Lena was smiling softly at her.

Kara sniffled and stood. “Thank you.”

Lena nodded, followed Kara’s movements and rose off the floor. “Do you want me to stay the rest of the night?”

Kara shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I—I think I want to be alone right now.”

“Are you sure?” Lena asked.

Kara nodded. “Yeah,” she said, hesitant at first, but firmer the second time as she managed a small smile. "Yeah, it’s nearly six in the morning, I have to get ready for work eventually and you’ll have to go soon too, I’ll be fine.”

“Promise you’ll call if you’re not? I can be here in fifteen minutes.”

“Of course.”

“And you’ll get to Alex when you’re ready?”

“Definitely.”

“Take care, Kara,” Lena said, squeezed her friend tightly, lingering in their hug.

“You too, Lena. Thank you for staying and taking me home earlier.”

“Always,” she said and then she was stepping into the hall and the door was closing and Kara was alone, alone, alone.

She kept the lights on after that, crashed on the couch, facedown with tears pooling.

_Something was wrong. Something was wrong with her._

She didn’t make it to work until after noon that day. Slept through four alarms and nine phone calls from various people.

She didn’t make it to the DEO until just before nine that night, when she knew Alex would be on a date with Maggie.

She didn’t turn off the lights when she got home, when she fell into bed and closed her eyes and willed her head to stop, stop, stop.

/

Two days later she woke up with a scream in her throat because there were voices in her head and each one spoke Kryptonese. Each one shouted over the other. Each one knew things she thought she’d forgotten, each one was both familiar and foreign after years of separation.

/

The next day she froze in the middle of a crosswalk, nearly got hit by a car because the streak of white in dark hair she saw belonged to Astra. Because she had to follow, so she took off sprinting, just barely keeping her speed human. So she’d followed and called out and pushed down hard against concrete as her legs tingled to leap and fly. So she’d followed, until she ended up in a dark alley blinking because she was alone and two miles away from the crosswalk she’d started.

She sunk to the ground with her head in her hands, because there wasn’t another beating heart within a hundred meter radius of the rundown building.

/

It was four days before Alex saw Kara again, tall frame tilted toward the railing at the DEO base, brows furrowed like she wasn’t seeing the still stars and softening night through the large window; like the scene in front of her was something else, somewhere else.

Alex crushed her into a hug from behind. “Where the hell have you been?” she asked.

Kara blinked once, twice. Shook her head before untangling herself from Alex’s embrace and taking a step back. “Busy at CatCo… you know that. I—we talked on the phone.”

Alex’s teasing grin fell. “No, I know, I was messing with you. It’s just weird that we wouldn’t see each other for that many days… especially, when you know you really need to get checked up by medical.”

Kara shook her head. Too fast, too sharp. “That’s not necessary. I’m fine, really. I feel good, I feel—“ Her head tilted toward the window, expression telling Alex she was listening with her superhearing, crinkle forming, eyes scrunching. “Shit, that’s loud. Do you hear it?”

Alex shook her head, reached out a put a gentle hand on Kara’s wrist. “Maybe you do need to get checked out, you might have—“

Kara yanked her hand away and shook her head. “I’m not crazy!”

Alex inched forward, palms upward and raised in innocence. “Whoa, hey, I never said you were.”

Kara backed up, until she collided with the railing, the metal denting behind her. The sound thundered in her ear. “It’s loud, it’s… Krypton, it sounds like Krypton did when it... I—I have to go, I have to...”

She pushed off the floor.

“ _Kara!_ Wait!”

She was already swallowed by the darkness.

Alex had Winn run through databases of street cameras and police radios.

There had been no explosion that night.

/

“Sister night, my place as soon as I got off work in three hours,” Alex declared the next evening, approaching Kara from behind and rubbing her shoulder, seeing her for the first time all day.

Kara turned around. Purple beneath her eyes, and pale skin screamed her exhaustion. “I don’t know, Alex. I’m pretty tired and I’m so busy, I was on my way out to CatCo now. Snapper needs me to do some last minute stuff with… articles and… stuff. It’s really important and he needs it before midnight, so-”

Alex shook her head. “I talked to James, you’re not scheduled to work today.”

Kara’s brows furrowed, a flash of anger heated across her cheeks and the rise of shame at being caught in a lie billowed forward. “You talked to James?! Alex, why are you going asking question about my work schedule? That’s none of your business.”

“You’re right,” Alex began, a sincerity bleeding through her voice that kept Kara from storming away. “Not normally, but you’ve been avoiding me, you’ve been avoiding Maggie, and you’ve been avoiding Lena, and when I talked to Winn I heard the same thing. So I called James, because I was worried about you, and he mentioned that it’d been a while since he’s seen you, that you weren’t working today.”

Her voice was slow and soft and warm, and Kara’s resolve fell, gaze trained on her feet. “ ‘m sorry, I didn’t want to lie to you.”

“Then don’t,” Alex said gently, pulled Kara softly out of the middle of the hall. “Nothing you tell me is going to change our relationship, nothing’s going to make me think any less of you.”

“Later, okay?” Kara asked, finally lifting her eyes. Maybe Alex could help her, could keep away the shadows that grew bigger, the memories that suffocated; and maybe Kara wouldn’t have to open her mouth through any of it. Wouldn’t have to say the words that would confirm all of this was true. That she was slipping, slipping, slipping away.

But it would be too much.

“How about we have a movie night instead? We could invite some of the superfriends?” she tried with a little shrug, and an empty smile bobbing across her lips.

She couldn’t be alone with Alex. Not yet, not until she got better control. Otherwise she’d start talking and she wouldn’t be able to stop the chilling words that would come out, the sentences that were spoken by the dead and the lost and the lonely.

Although her demeanor was hesitant Alex nodded and agreed and said she’d send out a few texts, see Kara in a few hours, pick up pizza and potstickers. She pulled Kara into a hug and whispered into her ear and all Kara could do was stand frozen, eyes trained on the blurry fleeting figure, a body of shadow slinking at the end of the hallway.

/

“Kara?” Maggie whispered softly a few hours later to the blonde tucked beside her. The younger woman’s entire body was trembling, her finger had been rubbing at her temples for the past fifteen minutes, eyes squeezed shut as a fight scene broke out on the TV. On Maggie’s other side Alex snuggled into her shoulder, and Maggie could tell she was still fighting off hurt and worry from Kara avoiding her, from Kara politely declining the offer Alex gave to scoot over and make room for Kara on her other side. Across the room James and Winn sat on the other couch, with Lena curled up at the end. Kara whimpered involuntary, so softly that Maggie could barely hear it over the movie. “Kara, you okay, kid?”

Kara opened her eyes, blinked slowly. “Yeah,” she gave a soft sniffle. “I’m just gonna go get some water and a little space.”

“Okay,” Maggie said as Kara stood, body still a mess of quivers. The detective gave a warm smile to Kara, leaned over to Alex as the blonde disappeared into the kitchen.

“What’s she doing?” Alex whispered.

“Water,” Maggie replied and Alex’s body tightened as she wiggled upward.

A few seconds passed before the apartment door was opened and pushed closed with a force that rattled the frame, jarred Alex’s ribs.

The brunette jumped up. “Something is wrong, Maggie. I have to—I have to go after her, I’ll be back in a few minutes. Just don’t worry, okay?” The words ran from her mouth as she moved to the door and out into the hall.

The doorway to stairwell was cracked ajar and Alex swung it open, tearing up flights of stairs until her legs were burning and her lungs were screaming.

It was when she reached the top that she threw the door open and climbed out onto the roof.

It was when she reached the top that chilled gusts of night air whipped at her cheeks and she saw Kara from behind and her blonde hair knotted in the wind and Kara dropped the glass in her hand and it shattered to pieces and Kara stepped forward and Kara was looking to something, to someone, in front of her.

And Alex peered around in the darkness and Kara’s voice cracked and Kryptonese poured from broken lips and the language cried the word ‘mama.’

And Kara reached out to this figure without a body, this mist that existed only in her head, and Kara’s hand met the frigid air of night and nothing more, and Kara’s knees buckled and crashed into the pile of broken glass and blood drew forward and her lips quivered into an azure hue and Supergirl shivered.

It was her mom, as alive as she had seen her in thirteen years.  

It was her mom, speaking softly, speaking lovingly with words that were new and words that swelled in their wholeness.

It was her mom, who had disappeared and turned to dust and died at Kara’s hand when she reached out for one more touch, one more touch, one more touch.

“Kara, come ‘ere,” Alex whispered, closed the distance between them. Glass crunched beneath her sock clad feet as she crouched behind Kara, but Alex didn’t flinch, didn’t curse, just wrapped her sister up in a hug from behind, just lifted her up and away from the mess, tucked her own arm under Kara’s shoulder and led her out of the frosty night and away from the hollowing winds and the ghosts.

She walked her down stairs to the apartment where the lights had been turned on and the movie paused, she held her close as she called J’onn, and Maggie insisted on easing the pieces of shattered glass from the soles of Alex’s feet as she talked, told J’onn they were heading over to the DEO, that medical needed to prep for Supergirl. That something was wrong.

And Lena pulled her coat from the back of a chair, draped it around Kara’s shaking shoulders as the blonde buried her face into Alex’s collarbone, with silent sobs tearing through her lungs. And Kara grasped the edge of the jacket with one hand, held it tight in her fist.

When they went to leave, Kara’s knees trembled again, sent her stumbling forward, and James lifted her up—so, so gentle as he scooped her into his arms and Winn trailed beside them, using his phone to start updating the med team on her condition. Maggie got the doors and Maggie held Alex’s hand while the agent’s other ran through blonde hair and she whispered soothing words and Lena entwined Kara’s fingers gently in her own, and Kara fought for consciousness, fought the tides of memory.

/

It was two in the morning when they got the results back.

When they discovered it was a neurotoxin released from the alien they had fought nearly two weeks ago. The toxin was transmitted through the goo, absorbed through skin. The explosion of the alien’s death had catalyzed the reactions, had brought the images of Kara’s dead world, her dead family, to life.

Had slowly drained her powers and stolen her mind.

It was two hours later when a team of the world’s best minds finally crafted an antidote.

It was with the sun that Kara woke, a pale image in the hospital bed as light spilled through the window.

It was with clearing vision that the room took form before her and the world came back in paint strokes of early morning light, to a sun that was not red, but a sun that gave her life anyway, a sun that embraced her in its golden rays.

A sun that raised the family before her, the people in various stages of sleep cycle, passed out in plastic chairs.

It was Alex, whose eyes opened first, blinked sleepily before parting into wakefulness, locking onto Kara. “Hey, hey, you okay?” Alex asked, always gentle, always selfless with Kara.

Kara nodded. “I don’t remember everything. What—what happened exactly?” she managed on a rough voice.

“A lot, we’ll talk about it later. You need to rest a little more, okay? You’re body’s been fighting for a long time.”

“ ‘kay,” Kara murmured, already felling the weight of sleep pull her back.

Alex grinned, brushed some hair off Kara’s face. “I’m glad you’re back with us, sis.”

Kara smiled, a little lopsided, a little tired, but warm and whole in all the ways that mattered. With eyes closed she reached for her sister, pulled her into a hug. “Me too.”


End file.
